Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. 
 
 Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test. 
 
Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master 
 
 Divorce : Future tense of marriage 
 
 Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either". 
 
 Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 
 
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 
 
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power. .. 
 
 Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage. 
 
 Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. 
 
 Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. 
 
 Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read. 
 
 Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 
 
 Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 
 
 Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 
 
 Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 
 
 Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 
 
 Experience : The name men give to their mistakes. 
 
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions. 
 
 Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. 
 
 Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. 
 
 Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. 
 
 Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." 
 
 Pessimist : - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY . 
 
 Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. 
 
 Father: A banker provided by nature. 
 
 Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught. 
 
 Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 
 
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after…
 
 Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.